The couchsurfing experience

I recently spent two weeks travelling in Germany, and managed to add the couchsurfer tag under my belt. For the uninitiated, couchsurfing is a platform that provides travellers (called ‘surfers’) with a chance to stay with a host, usually someone who’s local to the city they’re visiting. On the flip side, people who have extra room at their homes lend their ‘couch’ for travellers to spend a couple of nights. At the end of the stay, references are written, so that future surfers/hosts know what to expect from the next hosts/surfers. It is evident that the basis of such trysts is trust.  

While I travel, at least 50% of my dough is spent on accommodation. The longer the trip, the more relevant the synonyms for ‘spent’. Consumed, exhausted, or quickly depleted. You get the picture. I must admit it, selfish as it may sound (who isn't?), that I joined the couchsurfing website some time back with the sole intention of being hosted for free, and thus saving myself the money I’d spend on hostels. To get started, I needed some references, and to get references, I needed to host people. The idea of hosting people seemed like a means to an end.

I left on this impromptu trip to Germany with a couple of references on my page (from some kind friends). Since I was making on-the-spur-of-the-moment decisions of where to head to, I decided to try my luck with couchsurfing, and didn’t book any early hostel accommodations. I really enjoy travelling alone, and the unpredictability of an unplanned trip certainly adds to thrill. I turned out to be extremely fortunate, I was hosted thrice in the same week.

My curiosity got the better of me on these surfing trips. Each time, I made it a point to ask my hosts their reasons behind opening their doors to strangers. What was in it for them? Their responses fell in the ‘We like meeting new people from different cultures’ category. Not one said that they’d like some positive references so that it would be easier for them to travel. Was I the only one with this selfish thought? Was that not at least one of the reasons? If so, how come people weren’t stating it, at least as an afterthought? Is the notion of coming off as selfish something we fear, even amidst complete strangers?

What struck me as extremely kind was that some hosts don’t just provide you with a place to spend the night. They also cook for you, provide a drink or two, and show you around their city if they have the time. If hosts were doing this in the long run (I came across some gracious people who hosted at least 2 surfers a week), it occurred to me that they’re actually paying for one more person to live at their homes. Monetarily, isn’t that running a loss? So again, what was the point of being so kind?

At the end of the week, I was really thankful. Not just because I was saved some money, although I won’t deny that that is also one of the reasons. But, most of all, I was thankful because of the experience. The couchsurfing affair was different.

I got to meet people with backgrounds a far cry from my own, that the short time I spent with them, exchanging stories, turned out to be an enriching experience. To listen to a musician's opinion on appreciating music, that I would like to think I empathized with after it evoked a ten-year-old memory. To engage in conversation with someone who’s undertaken an obstacle course that I’d never even dream of registering for; whose elaborate description, made with such perspicuity, left me feeling like it was better than any race report I had ever read. To be so inspired  by someone's work choices, that it left me feeling guilty for a couple of days, like my life suddenly seemed so shallow. Contrarily, it’s nice to know that even with such disparate lives, you’re similar in so many ways. To find that somebody who grew up in a totally different environment shares a fondness for the same genre of music as you do; or to discover that a stranger has the same idiosyncrasy as you do (You HAVE to completely wet both hands with water before brushing your teeth? Me too! ). 

All this, I must emphasize, with strangers, who I will probably never meet again, unless fate plays a part. 

In retrospect, I may have relevant answers to the questions that plagued me earlier. I think, sometimes, with acts of kindness, it isn’t about the act per se, it’s about the feeling it leaves you with. Maybe, it isn’t about being told that doing nice things for others will make you feel good, it’s about having been at the receiving end of those nice things, and knowing what it feels like. Realising that, maybe, it isn’t about returning the favour, because who knows when you will meet the same people again? Maybe, it’s about passing it on, to be able to experience that feeling once more.

I don’t know if I will be as lucky the next time around, to come across such gracious and wonderful hosts. But I do know that I would certainly like to experience couchsurfing again. Two years ago, if I was asked to host a stranger in my home, I would’ve found the idea ridiculous. Today, I certainly would, and not just because of the possibility of a good reference.